Mind speak

ಕನಸ್ಸಿನ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಯನ್ನೇರಿ ಹಾರುತ್ತಿರುವ ನನಗೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ದಿಕ್ಕೇ ಕಾಣಬೇಕಿತ್ತು. ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಕತ್ತಲಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳಕಾದ ನಿನ್ನನ್ನು ನನ್ನ ದಾರಿದೀಪವಾಗಿ ಮಾಡಿದವರಾರು? ವಿಧಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲ ನನಗೆ, ರೇಖೆಗಳನ್ನು ಓದಲು ನನಗೆ ಬಾರದು. ಇವೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಮೀರಿ ಒಂದು ಸೂತ್ರವಿಹುದೇನೋ, ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರನ್ನು ಒಂದು ಮಾಡಿಹುದು.  

ರಾತ್ರಿ ಪಯಣ ಮಾಡಲೆಂದು ದೀಪ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಿಂತಿಹೆ, ದಾರಿ ಕಾಣದೆಂದು ಭಯವೇಕೆ? ಮನಸ್ಸು  ಮಾಡಿ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಇಟ್ಟ ಗಳಿಗೆಯೇ ಶುಭ ಗಳಿಗೆ. ಮುಂದೆ ಸಾಗಬೇಕು ಇನ್ನೂ, ಮೇಲು, ಕೆಳಗೆ, ತಿರುವು, ಮುರುವು, ಏನೇ ಬರಲಿ ಸೈ ಎಂದು ಹೊರಟು  ನಿಂತ ನನಗೆ ಯಾವ ಅಳುಕು, ಯಾವ ಚಿಂತೆ? ಬರುವ ಮುನ್ನ ಸೂಚನೆ ಕೊಡುವ ಮರ್ಮ ಮರ್ಮವೇ ? ಅಳುವ ಮುನ್ನ ಭಾವನೆ ಇರದೆ ಇರುವುದು ಸಾಧ್ಯವೇ ? ಬಾಳ ಹಾದಿ ಉದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ಹೂವ ಹಾಸು ಬಯಸಲು ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನ ಕನಸಲ್ಲ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಪಡುವಂತಹ ನನ್ನ ಮನಸಲ್ಲ.

Every now and then, life whispers sweet nothings into your ears. While it makes you happy and content, by the time you figure out the meaning behind those sweet nothings, the moment is past and the excitement has faded. You ride on a high wave and feel triumphant. When the ebb is gone it is back to the same reality, the same mundanes. Which leaves you wondering if anything is ever good enough to satisfy the human mind, to feel content that you have it all. The more you give this a thought, the more you realise what's missing in your life, resulting in a greater depression. And so it continues until the next tide arrives to give you the much needed push!

As the sky outside gets overcast, my mind gathers clouds too! The gloom and sorrow of the outside world engulfs my mind as well. The mind is now a mix of anxiety, sorrow, doubts, excitement, worry and thoughts all blended into a bland, undecipherable melange. I see the clouds clear temporarily to give way to a welcome sun. I feel my mind clear a bit too to give way to optimism and hope. But then the dark skies are back and so is the buzz in my head. The rain plays hide and seek outside and logic, reasoning, clarity doing so inside!

What can I do with a mind like this That wanders often and stumbles so, That hurts and pains but doesn't give up That searches for something it is not sure of. What can I do with a mind like this That desires what cannot be obtained, That seeks to find what cannot be seen That asks to get what cannot be achieved. What can I do with a mind like this That doesn’t tire, doesn’t stop, That doesn’t think, doesn’t deliberate That hardly knows what it wants. I could ask it to slow down; I could ask it to be careful; I could ask it to be sensible; I could ask it to grow up. But a wandering mind can hardly be curbed. You cannot set boundaries, you cannot tie it down. It’s meant to soar high; it’s meant to wander, Let me let it find it’s ground!

Grace, her attire Smile, her make up Tears, her expression Courage, her strength Love, her nature Affection, her personality Woe, her companion Passion, her beauty Faith, her anchor Intuition, her gift The better of creation, The epitome of love, No world without her, Woman- no one like her!

Tears that flow freely on, Liberate me of my burdens. As they fall they take with them All that I do not want for myself They take it all away- The pain, the sorrow, the unpleasant. In those drops I feel dissolve Life's great disappointments, many shocks and blows They absolve me of my sins And rejuvenate to face what's in store. Tears are a way to break free From all that holds you back in chains. Let them flow, I would say For I am not ashamed for them to show. I am not scared of being judged, Nor of insensitivity and pity!

There is a fresh breeze blowing through, which brings with it new hopes, new dreams and new aspirations. As it gently touches my face I feel renewed. As it brushes past me, I feel it pass on to me, a new bundle of energy. As it moves away from me I feel it take away from me all the tiredness, all the sorrows. What is left behind is a new me- a happier, a more content, a more self confident me. Winds of change it is, for me!

What happens when you test your own limits, when you test your endurance levels, when you test your capacity to tolerate? The mind is a wonderful device. It's sturdy, it's got high resistance to pressure. But the body is a different thing. It can bear pain, it can handle stress, but only to a certain limit. Beyond that it gives up. It just refuses to function when subjected to pressures beyond what it can handle. I have just experienced this and realized how important it is- to take care of your self, for no one else will. I thought I could abuse, misuse, ill treat my mind, my body- because they belong to me and I own them. I didn't realise it was the other way round. I live because they function well. When it got to a point beyond what I could bear, my body gave in, my mind tired out. What I experienced was a state of sheer exhaustion, like being drugged and incapacitated. I could literally feel my mind in pain, my body in agony. It made me think if it was worth it. Subjec...

Sing me a song of the days gone by Of happy times and calmer moments Of tender love and beautiful relationships Of quiet content and silent remorse Of simple joys and life’s little sorrows Of unspoken dreams and unheard places Of gentle flowing rivers and loud crashing waves Of wild thoughts and tame desires Of all that’s new and all that’s old Of precious ones and loyal friends Sing me a song to keep me going Through thick and thin Through life’s travails Through ups and downs Through tough times Sing me one and sing it now For a good song is the best healer

ज़िन्दगी मुझको सताना छोड़ दे रूठी हुई है, बताना छोड़ दे मनाने के लिए सब्र है किस्मे? हसाने के लिए चाह है किस्मे? बदल गया है सब कुछ यहाँ पे  रेहे गया पीछे सब कुछ, तू छोड़ आई जहाँ पे बीत गयी जो, छूट गयी जो, बेहता पानी, ना हाथ आने वाला. पछतावे में उम्र सारा ना गुज़रे बदल जाए ना मंज्हर, बदले ना चेहरे तू चली जाए, दो दिनका रोना है जो गया सो गया, जो है ना उसको खोना है सास रही जब तक, तुझे है आगे चलना  थक के, हारके ही सही, तुझे फिर भी है संभलना

As I was watching tiny drops of rain fall down, I was thinking what does a free fall feel like. I know I can try bunjee jumping to get an answer. But that’s the point. What if I am not that adventurous or that courageous? If I were suddenly straddled to a rope and harness and pushed off a cliff I can imagine the sheer panic that would create.  I wonder what thoughts would flash my mind in that few seconds.  The rope could give away, I could get a heart attack and the adrenaline rush might stifle me.  But wouldn’t there also be something so liberating about it? The feeling of just falling or sinking into oblivion is inexplicable. I have been into that abyss many a times. I have dropped from heights, touched the bottom and risen again. The emotional tide that I often ride is no less an adventure. A heart that does not feel is like a dead ant. What use is an ant that does not run or scurry about?  Every time I flow along with the ebb, the fear is there, the emotio...

I don't belong here. This is not my home. These strangers are not my friends and family! The places look unfamiliar, the road unknown. Am I trying too hard to fit in or is it that I was not meant to be here in the first place? It's strange how things can change so much that it gets beyond recognition. Is the change within me or in the world outside? It's hard to tell. The truth however is that I am lost! I try to keep up with the pace but I guess I am too slow. People around me no longer bring comfort. I would rather spend a day all by myself, in my own company. Everyone is so busy being upset with you that no one realises you could be upset too. All of a sudden one stern word you said, one argument you had becomes your fault. It overrides the many arguments and rude words other may have often uttered. It's exhausting to always be the one to make the call, to always be the one to check on others. Who calls you when you need someone to talk? Who checks on you when you ...

What do you bring to the table that's different? What do you have to offer that nobody else can? What makes you leave a mark that cannot be erased? What can ensure that you live on even after you are gone? Once we find the answers to these questions we will realize that it’s all so momentary- money, fame, family, career. Someone will come and beat your highest score; somebody will create a new record over riding yours. Someone will become the next sensation; somebody will find a way to earn more money than you.  There will always be new water flowing to replace the old; there will always be new seeds to grow new life.  We slog our whole lives and then one day we are gone- just like that! The important thing is- did we live each moment? Did we make at least one face smile? Did we help wipe away at least a drop of tear? Did we love wholeheartedly rather than wait to be loved, fearing reciprocation?  It’s not a perfect life and we are not perfect creations. We just imp...

Yesterday was Daughters Day. The joy a daughter can bring can only be felt by someone who has experienced the pure and unconditional love that a daughter gives. My daughter brings sunshine into our lives, she possesses a gentle touch that can heal all wounds. She cares for me like none can, she cries when she sees tears in my eyes, she understands when I am angry and tries to make it better for me. She smothers me with kisses so delicate and sweet, wraps me in hugs that can keep me warm for a lifetime. She makes me laugh when things seem too hazy and dark. She fusses and throws a fit when things don't go her way but understands that she has crossed the line when she sees me angry. She stumbles and falls and hurts herself every day. Yet the pain never shows on her pretty little face! She has come into my life and changed me for the better. Life is no longer about shopping sprees, hanging out with friends or a sudden movie plan. It’s about play time at parks and shared ice cre...

I read this beautiful thought this morning- A person tired and fed up of Life asked God: Why so many mountains and hills to climb in life? God replied: To have a better view of life! Aren't we all so busy complaining about minor things that we miss out on enjoying the good things that come our way. We crib about the traffic and fail to appreciate the health benefits of a walk. We sulk about the weather when it's too hot and when it's too cold. What would be good weather for us then? We complain that it's difficult to handle a toddler and complain again when they grow up because then it's the burden of school and home work. In the process we miss out on their childhood. We are unhappy when there is too much work and unhappy again when there is hardly any work to do. We get tired of home food and get bored when we eat out too often. We crib about the high cost of living and yet will only buy branded and the best of things! We feel neglected when our loved ...

A bit of love, a bit of hope, a bit of dreams, a bit of dissapointment, a bit of luck, a bit of failure, a bit of happiness, a bit of sorrow, a bit of friendship, a bit of family, a bit of search, a bit of contentment, a bit of remorse, a bit of gratification, a bit of dissatisfaction, a bit of peace, a bit of challenge, a bit of revenge, a bit of prayer, a bit of action, a bit of favour, a bit of achievement, a bit of help, a bit of independence, a bit of faith, a bit of skepticism, a bit of this and a bit of that, a bit of everything but a bit too less, Is that what it's all about?

A frog in the well is happy where it is- happy not knowing what is outside, happy being within the walls of the well. There exists no world beyond the well, for the frog. The waters are tested, the inmates all known. There is no risk, no unknown dangers to face. Once in a while the curiosity gets the better of it and it peeps outside, wondering what is out there, wondering what the world beyond has to offer. But never actually venturing out. Life is set and there is no room for surprises. While I was watching this little fellow in the picture I was wondering what was going on in his mind. Is he different from us? I was peeping into the well too, but would I dare to step in to see what's there? I don't think so. So for the frog the well is his world, for me the world is my well!

The road ahead is not always clear and free. Obstacles make the path interesting. They make a dull journey look exciting, they spice up the quest. The mountain that looks like it's blocking the way ahead, is just another stone. You realize this when you go past it and look back. The good things about stones are that they become milestones when you cross them!

Loneliness is such a familiar feeling. You don't need to be in a crowd to feel lost. You can be all alone and feel totally lost. Trying to catch up with people, trying to be a part of everything around you, is that always possible? Feels like almost always that never happens! A very close friend told me the reason why one may not be asked to be a part of things around is because they might be intimidating to others. Could be true. But I feel it's just the way of the world. Nobody has the time to give you extra attention. You either jump into the thick of things or get left out. Those who take time to open up may miss the train. The strong survive with this bitter feeling and learn to be their own friend and walk on. The weak give up, feel miserable and perish! Society is so unfair. Who gives it the right to judge others anyway? For that matter no one is so perfect that they can judge another. But then again, society is full of such people who are so full of themselves that they...