Mind speak

Life is a circus and I am a trapeze artist. I swing from one bar to another- trying to play it safe. So I swing from work to family, from duty to indulgence, from responsibility to blithe. All the while I think that I will not slip, I will not miss. I should not slip, I should not miss. I know the net is there below me, in case I trip. A net with many names - family, friends, financial security, hope, confidence. There will be clowns in colourful dresses, crowds gawking with bated breath, ring masters with watchful eyes. All waiting to see - if I will fall, if I can make it. When I eventually do finish my act - Some will applaud, some will cheer, Some will frown, some will say it was a stroke of luck. For my part, I would just be glad that the act is done, I managed without injuries, I entertained and I did what was expected of me. The circus will repeat with the same act, But new audience, new place, new clowns, new ring master et al. Life is a circus and I am a trapez...

Our Little Miss Sunshine is growing up and how fast! She is now at an age where she is beginning to think independently. This means that her “yes”s are quiet clear and her “no”s are even more emphatic.  This also means that she is beginning to express herself independently as well. I love it when she forms these really looonnnnggg sentences and gets stuck half way, struggles to find the right word, finishes with a satisfaction of having conveyed her thoughts.  This also means that we get to hear her non stop jabber- it starts as soon as she opens her eyes in the morning and ends only when she closes them again at night. Just yesterday a close friend of our’s was telling me, if your daugther’s mouth was made of wood or rubber, it would have been broken or worn out by now!  It’s like you are living with this old granny who happens to be really tiny. Why? Well, I am cooking in the kitchen and she comes in asking, “ Have you added the salt?” ; My husband is riding t...

So many decisions, so little those are correct So many dreams, so little realized So many ideas, so little those are executed So many moments, so little that are relived So many people, so little those are valued So many questions, so little those are answered So many challenges, so little that are faced So many obstacles, so little those are overcome So many unfulfilled tasks, so little time So many fears, so little those are valid So many companions, so little those stick on So many desires, so little that are curbed So many breaths, so little life we add to them!!

I have been wanting to write this blog for quiet sometime now. This is my humble tribute to an innocent, childlike, sweetly stubborn woman. Her name is Melrose and she used to be my Mother-in-Law. Amma passed away on January 12th this year. We never really shared the perfect saas-bahu relationship. Infact I hardly had the occasion to interact in length with her, in the first 3 years of my marriage. That was because, our's being a love marriage, the two of us chose to live separate, away from the rest of the family. This meant that whatever little time we spent together was on the weekly visits my husband and I made to her house. Even in that it was a sparse conversation. She would mumble a few words in Tamil and I would mumble back in Kannada. This wasn't because we were not fond of each other. We hardly knew each other to form an opinion. For me it was the hesitation of not being the bahu she chose coupled with the fact that I felt like an outsider, an intruder in that big f...

Is what people think about you always different from what you think about yourself? Are you the biggest critique of yourself or are others? I guess it depends on the situation. Like women would criticize themselves the most when it comes to how they look in the mirror but would be defensive if someone were to comment on their skills as a mom.  I had a meeting with a client today and this blog is a result of that. Without getting into specifications, they told me we expect better from you because this is what you are known for. We come to you because you are recommended in this field. I started pondering and realized, all the while when I was thinking I was doing a good job, the other person was thinking she needs to be doing better than this!! What was good for me for not good enough for them. I guess it all boils down to expectations. When the expectations are high the outcome is expected to be higher. When that doesn't happen disappointment sets in. If your Manager thinks you ar...

They say life is the best teacher. I agree but beg to differ! I have a teacher and she is the best I know. She is so little yet stands so tall in my eyes. Allow me to introduce Dhriti. My daughter, my love, my angel, my teacher. Everyday I realize that life is so incomplete without a child in your life. It's such a fulfilling experience. Children are so pure, so innocent, so sincere. Unlike us adults, they say what they mean and they mean what they say. Their actions are without deceit. Hence their love is unconditional as well. Dhriti means patience and rightly so. I have chosen her name with much care and contemplation and am glad she is everything her name and more. Right from a baby a few days old Dhriti has been accident prone. She was just 15 days old or so when my husband accidentally cut her tiny finger while trying to cut her nails. Then there was this incident where  I carelessly (though unintentionally) kept a bowl of hot soup within her reach and she poured it all ove...

I often wonder how life just goes on. One day ends and another begins. Before you know it a whole month has passed and soon it's one more year added to your life. But then it also makes me sad. What have I done to show that this time has passed? Is there anything worth mentioning or worth speaking about? Sadly none. No feather in any hat, no new milestone, nothing that deserves a notice. Isn't that what life is all about? You live, you breathe, you go about everything to just abruptly perish one day. How many of us can proudly say we have lived "THE" life? How many of us can breathe our last with a sense of satisfaction, with a sense of achievement? I look at people who are famous, who are celebrities and who are achievers and think they must be so happy in life. But who knows what their worries, their miseries, their concerns are. A perfect life is such an imperfection! The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. As long as we have lived without harming, acted ...