Mind speak

Are moods seasonal? What I mean is, do they change as the season or the weather changes? I have observed that with me. When it's cloudy and gloomy outside I start feeling dull and sad as well. When it is sunny and hot, i get irritable and angry for no reason as well. When it's cold I get lethargic and feel numb as well. But strangely that doesn't work with the rains. No, I don't feel like crying when it rains!!! Infact the rain makes me feel strangely energetic, happy and also sometimes hopeful. I am yet to find the connection.Getting slightly wet in a delightful drizzle makes me feel refreshed. Watching a heavy down pour from behind the windows makes me feel gleeful like a small child. Of course, it's another thing being out there and getting soaked to the bone, especially if you are on the way home and have to wait under a tree or outside a shop for the rain to subside. But that's ok. For some reason I like watching the world around when it is raining. Cars ...

It happens a lot. That uneasy feeling. An intense feeling of pain. No it's not physical pain that I am talking about. It's emotional. Having delivered a child and having undergone a surgery for a rather painful fracture requiring insertion of steel plates in my leg, I feel that the pain from these is nothing. For they heal with time. Human body can bear this pain and survive. But can the human heart bear the pain from an emotional encounter and survive? Strangely yes! Survival is more biological. What effect does it have on the internal mind? When emotionally drained, doesn't one feel like a vegetable? You go numb. You are breathing, you are doing your work, you are being you, but something inside is not responding.It's like that thing has been stabbed and stunned. Have you ever felt this pain- like a thousand needles being pierced and at the same time a gut wrenching shout being stiffled into a silent sob. A sob that no one will hear, no one will notice. If a person ...

It's so sad when you lose touch. Strange are the ways of life. You make friends, develop a bond that changes you for good, get to know a person who understands you better than yourself and then it's all gone. Just like that. I sometimes feel that I am so obsessed with myself. What I mean is I am so involved in my life, my family, my work that I don't even realize I missed out on so many things that I so cherish, that I so love. There is nothing more morose than when you realize that you lost out on a close friend. It's not everyday that you find a friend who understands you so well, who laughs and cries with you, who feels that you are fun to be with, who looks forward to spending time with you. But then circumstances change I guess, people change, their choices and preferences change. From being everything you can go to being nothing. When you see the same person mention about another friend who means a lot to them you can't help but feel a prick inside! I could ha...